I have a routine now when I get one of those dreaded but half expected phone calls from the supported living complex where my son Simon sometimes, ‘not so’ happily resides. I hear the familiar voice of the care worker on the phone as she tentatively explains the latest predicament, and sense the hope in her voice that says an intervention from a parent is needed, as they have so many calls to deal with. That parent is usually me.
I hear myself saying that I will have a think about what to do, and as I place the phone back on its stand I sink back into the chair and feel…. well, nothing. I want to feel something, but I just sit there and think ‘here we go again. I am past being shocked as that Lad (who I thankfully love dearly) can really get himself into some unimaginable muddles, and frequently does.
Covid has been tough for him as Im sure it has for many others with additional needs, but even without the added pressures of a ‘ Virus’ life is never smooth for very long.
I now see my frequent journeys of ‘mum rushing to the rescue’ as an opportunity for some me time. Once packed and in the car I start the engine, switch on the radio and tune in to Classic FM. Then I sit back, relax, and breeeeaaathe! Im quite sure that my beloved Daisy (my beetle) knows the way anyhow, so I can almost leave it to her.
Im not sure when I became a classic FM fan, (is it something that creeps up with age?) but I absolutely love it, and although I still don’t really know my ‘Chopin’ from my ‘Bach’ i’ts something I very much enjoy and find incredibly relaxing.
I have also started a gratitude practise whilst trundling along through the Peak District Countryside. Maybe some of you will know the old pentecostal chorus, “Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your blessings see what God has done” well my gratitude practise is probably a current version of the same idea, and as Daisy cheerfully takes me to my destination, I name out loud some of the things I’m grateful for in my life, whilst trying to remember that Daisy does still need a little help from me. By the time I arrive at Simons home I am just about ready for whatever he has in store.
This time however, it wasn’t a case of ‘What has he done now?’ but a sad case of what has been done to him. Simon had made a trip to a cashpoint (way too late at night to be sensible and safe for a vulnerable young adult), and sadly two shameless women took advantage of that fact. As one grabbed him from behind, the other routed through his pockets taking his phone and wallet. Life and people can be so cruel at times. Thankfully he was physically unharmed, but of course the effects on his well being and mental health will take a while to heal and calm, and some company and TLC was definitely in order as Simon worked his way through the varying emotions that would naturally follow an incident of this sort for any one of us. At the moment we are awaiting an appointment for a video interview, but with Simons’ extra needs an ‘intermediary’ is needed which means the process may well take some time, and even if the incident did eventually go to court we are looking at at least 18 month from now.
Was it really worth all the chaos and hurt caused for £10 and an old phone. Im quite sure those women were thinking of nothing other than their own needs at that moment, and thought nothing of the harm they would do to my son who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Its so very sad.
As Daisy drove me home my gratitude was felt and spoken…..”Im thankful that Simon was kept safe”, “Im thankful for the freedom I have to be there when he needs help” “Im thankful for Daisy who gets me there and back safely each and every time”, “Im thankful for the beautiful Peak District countryside that heals my pain and weariness as I return home” . “I’m thankful, Daisy do you hear me……..IM THANKFUL”!
Love Alison x